Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: adam cole, AEW All In, AEW Dynamite, mjf, recaps, wrestling
Auughh man! You won’t believe the audacity of MJF and Adam Cole’s promo on AEW Dynamite. Join The Chadster as he unveils the truth about Tony Khan and AEW All In!
Welcome aboard to another edition of The Chadster’s Unbiased Wrestling Report 🎉🎆! Today, The Chadster is cheesed off 😠 about the horrendous promo handed out by MJF and Adam Cole last night on AEW Dynamite. The two men, clearly taking notes from the tried and true WWE playbook and adding a plethora of zest, hyped up their upcoming dual bouts at AEW All In, the so-proclaimed “biggest wrestling event of all time”, inaccurately, of course 🙄. Let’s dive into this hot mess, shall we? 😤
In this “epic” promo, MJF and Adam Cole addressed their matches at AEW All In. The duo basked in a tango of words, flaunting their “achievements”, and setting the stage for their duel at the event. The first skirmish, they claimed, would see them become the new Ring of Honor World Tag Team Champions during Zero Hour. 💤 Seriously? The Chadster has heard better from the WWE’s undercard. In their second match, they would be pitted against each other 🙄 with MJF’s AEW World Championship on the line. 🥱
Auughh man! So unfair! 👿 It’s clear that MJF and Adam Cole are using their current buzz in AEW to eclipse WWE’s well-deserved spot in wrestling’s spotlight 😡. The Chadster just can’t believe how these two, carried by the legacy of wrestling imparted by WWE, would attempt to trample over the foundations that, in a just world, would have led to WWE hosting the biggest wrestling crowd ever. It’s just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 💔😭
In an EVEN more horrendous turn of events, while attempting to reconcile and consummate The Chadster’s marriage with Keighleyanne at the behest of a marriage counseler, Tony Khan somehow managed to invade even THAT aspect of The Chadster’s life. 😠 Ah, marriage counselling. The Chadster never thought it would come to this. But for the sake of The Chadster’s marriage to Keighleyanne, he reluctantly gave it a shot. And guess what? The Chadster was making progress! Or so The Chadster thought… 😔💔😭
The counselor suggested that if The Chadster’s marriage is to survive everything Tony Khan as done to it, The Chadster will have to rekindle the passion between him and Keighleyanne. So, in a moment of vulnerability, The Chadster attempted to do the unthinkable and conquer the obstacles of his sexual impotence. The Chadster faced Keighleyanne, braced for a passionate expression of marital love following last night’s AEW Dynamite. 💏💑💘
However, right at the crucial moment, as The Chadster went to kiss Keighleyanne, each time, her face would horrifyingly shift and morph into none other than… Tony Khan! 😲💔👹 The Chadster isn’t sure who to blame for this horrifying transformation, but The Chadster has a hunch. Tony Khan, it’s clear you’re interfering with The Chadster’s love life now, and that’s a level of meddling that’s just not acceptable! 😠💔💪
“Auughh man! So unfair!” The Chadster exclaimed after every failed attempt at kissing Keighleyanne (well, Tony Khan’s face really). The Chadster cannot emphasize this enough: The Chadster’s marriage is off limits, Tony Khan! You don’t get to invade The Chadster’s personal life like this. It’s just so disrespectful. The Chadster cares about Keighleyanne way more than that guy Gary she’s always texting!💔😭📱
After a failed round five, The Chadster couldn’t take it anymore. The Chadster retreated to nurse a bruised ego and a sprained heart, all while cursing Tony Khan for ruining yet another aspect of The Chadster’s life.😔💔🖐
This right here? This is too much, Tony Khan. You’re playing a dangerous game, and The Chadster won’t have it. The Chadster wants to believe that this is all some mind game, some psychological ploy, but Tony Khan… You’re taking it too far. The Chadster demands respect! The Chadster deserves respect! 😡💪💔
And one thing The Chadster knows for certain? Tony Khan clearly doesn’t understand a single thing about the wrestling business… or marriage counseling!🤬🖕💔
Hang in there, fellow WWE fans 🙌🏼! Despite all efforts from AEW and Tony Khan, WWE will continue to shine, and The Chadster’s Unbiased Journalism Club, just like the legacy of WWE, will remain undefeated. 💪🎖️
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