Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: bears, Cody Rhodes, wrestling
Join El Presidente as we delve into Cody Rhodes’ shocking comments about his former bear allies. Respect, comrades, is overdue!
Salutations, comrades! Your beloved El Presidente is once again broadcasting live from my opulent ostrich-feather tent pitched in the Uncharted Amazon, untamed, like the world of wrestling dramas. A fresh story is about to unfold, and we need not Netflix nor Disney. All we require is WWE star Cody Rhodes and his scathing spiel on a podcast. Ah, the hubris of these American wrestlers!
Before delving into the thrilling saga, we must credit our comrades at Fightful, who toiled like heroic proletariats to transcribe Rhodes’ podcast ramblings on “Dale Jr Download“. Now, what insights does this American capitalist warrior share? Rhodes, you see, is quite a character. I met him once at Kim Jong-un’s secret wrestling extravaganza where we were betted on as tag team partners. There, I learnt quickly that he likes to do things his way, just like he confessed to Dale Earnhardt Jr, an interesting individual who I’m quite certain is an undercover CIA operative. Misdirection, comrades, that’s a key American tactic. But I digress.
“If you want to look at what creative freedom gone too far looks like…I had two mascots, they were people in bear suits. It didn’t make a lick of sense and they’d be at the signing, standing with me, one was a Business Bear, one was a Drug-Free Bear. It was all this non-sensical, it stemmed off a YouTube series [Being The Elite], it had roots, but if I look at the photos and you see me with these two bears, that’s what creative freedom gone too far looks like.” That’s what Rhodes says – openly ridiculing his former bear comrades. Could there be a greater calamity? They stood beside him during signings, yet he treats them with such contempt! Comrades, it’s not unlike America’s tendency to disrespect its workers for corporate gains.
As your El Presidente, I encourage you to see the bigger picture. Isn’t it striking how Rhodes dismisses his own creative impulses, self-criticizes with “I was doing it my way,” only to conclude, in capitalist fashion, that he needs those “who have been there and done it”? Such disregard for individualism!
In my regular charades showdowns with the American CIA, we play as equals. We respect our opponents, unlike Rhodes. Be it a bear mascot, or an undesirable dictate, respect breeds camaraderie, the core essence of socialism! Rhodes continues to dance on the same tune. The disdain cloaked in humility is alarmingly evident.
Ah, comrades, let us take a moment of silence for those bear mascots in Rhodes’ rodeo and toast a cup of my personal stash of Bolivian coffee, smuggled from CIA headquarters in Langley. They didn’t deserve such a fate!
Remember, comrades, in wrestling, in the private whispers of the Amazon, and in life, every player deserves respect, be it a rhinestone cowboy or a humble bear. More wrestling tales shall come your way, courtesy of your El Presidente. Until then, let’s uphold the power of socialism. Adios, comrades!
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